Guilt-ridden about the piles at the office and the piles at home? Forgetting the little things like bills, birthdays, appoitments? Teetering on insanity?

Carol Evans, author of This Is How We Do It: The Working Mother’s Manifesto and CEO of Working Mother Media, will offer a reality check. Evans will speak tomorrow at the Greater Richmond Chamber’s Extraordinary Women’s Exchange at 11:30 a.m. at the Hilton Richmond Hotel and Spa at Short Pump Town Center. I caught up with her yesterday in between her staff meetings.

As a new working mother myself, I always feel like I don’t have it right. I’m constantly losing track of all the details at work and at home. With your years of experience, do you have one little nugget of advice that might help me?

Sure — one thing is to be really present when you're at home. And the best way to do that is when you first come home from work, do not spend the first 15 minutes of your time at home getting yourself in order. Throw your coat off and immediately focus on the children. … Don’t do the dishes or look around or talk to the dog — stare right into their face, eyeball-to-eyeball contact, and they’ll immediately get the idea that you’re right there listening to them. By focusing your attention on [your children] for the first 15 or 20 minutes, or even just 10 minutes when you walk in the door, they have that sense that “Oh! I’m taken care of. I’m being paid attention to ...”

What do you think a working mother should ask from her company?

What women want more than anything else is flexibility in their jobs. You want to make sure that your company has — and if they don’t have this, you want to work on this — flexible work arrangements or a generous flex policy. Companies do flex in many different ways: They might have informal flex where everyone is allowed to take [it] with their manager’s permission or they might have very specific work arrangements they allow where you can flex your day, your week or your year. I think one of the things working mothers most love is being able to flex their day and their week so that they can go to the doctor, go to the school play, meet with the teacher and not have to make up an excuse about being sick in order to do that.

There’s always tension between working moms and those who stay at home. You have tons of experience talking to mothers about this issue — what insight can you offer?

I think it’s really important that we all recognize that it’s up to us as women to put a stop to the so-called “Mommy Wars” and to realize that a lot of it is fueled by a media who loves a fight. I recommend that working mothers and stay-at-home moms talk to each other and utilize each other in a way that can be helpful to each. For example, it’s obvious that a stay-at-home mom could pick up your kid from after-school care and drive him home and take care of him for an hour. … But what about what working moms can do for the stay-at-home moms? [You] could invite them into groups that you might be using for support, you could invite them to come to a conference or a lecture, or an event at your company.

What was your worst moment as a working mother?

My worst moments were always when my children were sick. Always, always, always. And I had some really nasty ones. My daughter had brain surgery [when she was 15], and my son [when he was 1] had brain surgery for different reasons. When you have those big emergencies, you get really clear about your focus — you get clarity. You don’t have to ask yourself what’s most important. It’s right there!

Tickets to Evans' talk and lunch are $35 in advance. To reserve a space, call 783-9368.     

Look in those eyes. Come on — just look in those puppy-dog and kitty-cat peepers and say you don’t want to take one of these furry little guys (or gals) home.

Of the 15 adoptable cats and dogs featured in our October slideshow, 12 are still available. So we’re gonna place a little guilt trip on you. But first a quick note: Zappa, the foxhound who appeared on the cover, has a sweet personality and is not interested in hunting or running off — contrary to common perceptions, says Linda Wickham of Hickory Hill Canine Rescue.

Still adoptable:

Baron, a 3-year-old foxhound, Hickory Hill (537-5502)

Maye, a 2-year-old Chow Chow, Richmond SPCA (521-1307)

Oakley, a mixed-breed dog, Hickory Hill

Bojangles, an 18-month-old dog, Hickory Hill

Mattie, a 4-year-old dog, Hickory Hill

Caymus, a 5-year-old Treeing Walker Coonhound mix, Richmond SPCA

Mary, a 1-year-old pastel tortie cat, Cat Adoption and Rescue Efforts (288-9797)

Victoria, a 1 1/2-year-old calico, CARE

Orchid, a 5-year-old shepherd mix, Richmond SPCA

Rina, a 4-year-old Bluetick Coonhound mix, Richmond SPCA

Romeo, a 2-year-old tabby, CARE

Zappa, a 2-year-old foxhound, Hickory Hill

We realize that pets are a big responsibility (many Richmond magazine staffers are owned by cats and dogs), but they also can be a great source of love and comfort. These guys need homes, so please think about it.

As the T-D's Melissa Ruggieri reported this morning, for this year's "12 Hours of Christmas" radiothon to benefit the greater Virginia chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, in addition to the regular crew at Lite 98 (Bill Bevins, Shelly Perkins, Kat Simons and Adam Stubbs), Clear Channel is bringing back four members of Q94's late-'90s on-air staff — Jeff Wicker, Betty Bodine, Kirby Carmichael and Billy Surf.

It all starts at 6 a.m. and runs for a baker's dozen of hours, finishing up at 7 p.m, with pledges taken all day. In addition, donations can be made online, and there's an online auction of items such as a disco ball autographed by Lady Gaga, a guitar autographed by Keith Urban, a poster autographed by Richmond's own Lamb of God and much more. According to Clear Channel's press release, they're hoping to raise the funds to grant 20 wishes this holiday season.

If you're looking for an example of the importance of the work Make-A-Wish does, look no further than the story of Charlotte Reynolds, a 4-year-old girl from Ashland who's spent the past year battling a malignant brain tumor. Charlotte and her parents just finished up a visit to Disney World sponsored by Make-A-Wish, and if anyone deserves a little fairy dust from the Magic Kingdom this season, it's the Reynolds family. It's also worth noting that Charlotte's parents, Roger and Rachel Reynolds, are working to establish a nonprofit, CJ's Thumbs Up Foundation, with the goal of offering financial support to families of children with chronic, life-threatening illnesses. Head on over to their Facebook page and become a fan, won't you?

Don’t let the fuzzy puppets fool you. Avenue Q isn’t even in the same ZIP code as Sesame Street.

While you will see comparisons to the popular show, Avenue Q is strictly for adults, both in content and humor. And that was just fine last night at the Roanoke Civic Center, where the audience gave the show a standing ovation. The Tony-winning hit opens at the Carpenter Theatre tonight.

Avenue Q addresses subjects that people are often uncomfortable talking about — from racism and homosexuality to porn and religion — with an unnerving honesty that most of us bury. The show even gets away with a steamy puppet-style sexual interlude.

The story of Avenue Q starts with Princeton, a new college grad who arrives in the Big Apple looking for an affordable neighborhood. He starts with A but has to work his way down to Q, where the neighbors include an out-of-work comedian and his fiancée; a couple of wacky roommates; two very different monsters — one cute, one addicted to the Internet; and Gary Coleman (the child star reimagined as a building superintendent, but played by another actor). Each, in his or her own way, is trying to figure out the purpose of life.

It’s their journey and interactions that make this show a hit. To single out any one actor in this crackerjack ensemble would take away from the beauty of the play. The actors on stage are as skillful in their acting as they are in their vocal performances and puppetry. There are no pitch problems, no lines lost, no awkward moments. Their performances are so polished that by the end of the evening the line between actor and puppet blurs.

The show’s creative set is reminiscent of Sesame Street but much darker and grittier. The lighting effects that include the top of the Empire State Building add dimension to the show.

For all of its raunchy romping, this Broadway show does have a heart and a message that comes across loud and clear. The songs are cleverly written, bawdy and delivered with comic finesse.

Go into Avenue Q with an open mind, and you’ll have a rousing good time. Avenue Q plays the Carpenter Theatre at Richmond CenterStage tonight and Saturday at 8 p.m. both nights. Tickets range from $40 to $65. For ticket information, head to the theater's Web site.